yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We need to get me chipped asap
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
