I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
