I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
