Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
