just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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