It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
