he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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