Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
