Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can you bring me the toilet please
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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