I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
