do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
