clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
