After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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