my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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