Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
