I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
