i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
