Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
