Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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