Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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