I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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