It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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