I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
