I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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