Your tits are I can't wait for
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
