i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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