dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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