Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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