I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
