Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize