I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
420 ftw
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
