where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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