I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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