I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
