Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
