I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize