I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
