Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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