i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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