just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You pole danced in your parka.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
