There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
When did angry sex become our thing?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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