Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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