I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
