i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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