Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
