Jerry, you need to find god
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
