It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
