i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
