Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Farmville is her only friend.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I am one with the molecules
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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