You're my little dorito
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
