My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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