porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
