who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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