Where are you?
In a non slutty way
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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