Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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