Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
