I hate your face
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
