its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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